


Lungs of Steel

by forbiddenfiction (youngerdrgrey)



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-03-30
Updated: 2008-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/forbiddenfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"One day, you're going to realize that you don't hate me, Waldorf," he said smiling.<br/>"Don't hold your breath," she said back.</p>
<p>Dan/Blair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The italic narratives are not Gossip Girl but Dan's writing. He's writing a book.  
> \+ It's a year after the pilot episode and at least eight months since "The Thin Line". And just guess who's come back.

_September 26th, 2008._

_Looking back, he wasn't even sure how practically a year could go by so fast. It seemed as if it was only yesterday that the world came crashing down atop the Upper East Siders. During that time, he had felt like Will Smith in_ I Am Legend _, because the drama didn't affect him. It was almost funny. He had woken up that morning feeling like things were going to go straight back to the point. He was right._

The first bell of the day rang and students far and wide jerked to get to their respective classrooms in time for first hour. Girls scrambled left and guys scrambled right, all hoping that nothing would get in the way of that attendance record they were working on. Hopes, as they should have known, were like wishes, you should never say them aloud and you shouldn't hold your breath for them to come true. In some cases, those hopes turned into floats of fame, popularity, and happiness. Jenny Humphrey was one of those cases. She'd wanted a way into the high graces of the it-crowd and had gotten it through ease dropping, ditching possible true friends, and befriending horrible people. Thus she spent the beginning of her sophomore year partying in the mother of all parades. The thing about parades, though, was that just a bit of rain could send them crashing into trees and falling into ditches. Too bad for them, a storm was on the horizon. And that storm was called Blair Waldorf.

Allow me to tell you something about Blair. Blair was the queen of the UES for as long as anyone could remember. Some people even said she had been in charge way back in kindergarten. That's beside the point. She ruled up until January of that very year when people she trusted, and people she truly didn't care about, turned on her and ruined her reputation. In a burst of inspired rage, Blair had stuck around after the trashing until the end of the first semester just to see what her school was turning into. Then, she had left. No one quite knew where and no one knew when she would return. They just knew when she did Constance, and all of the Upper East Side, would be turned upside down.

Constance was an all girls' private school located in the swank UES district of Manhattan, New York. It's sister school was the all boy's private high, St. Jude's. The two schools worked together on many fundraisers and projects but until that year there were never any joint classes. Once it reached the students exactly which classes had both genders, suddenly, things like  _Advanced Literature_  and _Travel Studies_  were all the rage.

When alas the bells tolled, the classes began. Jonathan Price, who was referred to as only Johnny, took out the lovely attendance sheet to look over. The way the two schools worked made it damn near impossible to know things about both schools at the same time. Seeing as he taught at St. Jude's, knowing things and people that had to do with Constance was always a hassle, even when one of those people was a new student in his class. He went off calling familiar name after name until he reached a name that was familiar but had to be a joke.

"This must be a joke," Johnny said shaking his head at the paper

"Who is it?" asked the aggressive ass in the first row. He was Chuck Bass. Anyone could tell because of the 'attractive' scarf adorning his neck. Most teachers had a problem with the boy but Johnny knew how to handle guys like him.

"Well, I don't think she's here but Blair Waldorf,"

There was a tense silence that came in almost as soon as the words left his mouth. Eyes roamed the room checking to see if the brunette had truly returned. There was no sign of her. Johnny was about to continue when the door opened and in she walked. Jaws hit the ground and every eye was on her. She was gorgeous.

Blair looked at the room confusedly as everyone gaped at her. Gosh, it wasn't like she'd changed that much. Her fashion sense changed a bit. Gone were the innocent headbands that always adorned and constricted her long chestnut hair. When the headbands left, so, did the little ribbons and butterfly hairclips. She'd grown up as a person and her body had done the same. She more of a mature look about her and if the drool collecting on the desks was any sign, she didn't look half bad.

"Present," she said placing her right hand delicately on her hip. She looked over the class spotting all the people she had returned for and all the people she had run from right there. This was going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chris = Dan)

_From the moment that she walked in the room, Chris knew that there was something different about Paige. She still looked like the girl he had always known and secretly despised. But she wasn't the same, and that confused him. He had always heard that when you were reunited with characters from your life story, well, important ones at least, your heart aches, your mind reels, and the only feeling is pure adoration pulsing through your veins. If so, how could it be that when his shocked gaze fell upon her, the only thing he could feel were his pants getting considerably smaller._

"Present," Blair said placing her right hand delicately on her hip. She looked over the class spotting all the people she had returned for and all the people she had run from right there. This was going to be interesting.

"Blair, wow, when did you get back?" Johnny asked, eyes still rolling over her checking for actuality. He wasn't a very old teacher. In fact, he had gotten the job practically fresh out of college. He was a bit unhinged by the fact that he didn't know she was returning though. After all, him and Eleanor were good friends.

"About… twelve hours ago," she said giving him a slight smile

"Well, I am honored you've joined my class. Now, where to seat you," Johnny looked around deciding it best not to put her by Chuck, the pompous ass, or Nate, her ex-boyfriend. Finally, he spotted a seat that she could probably work with, "Why don't you go back there by Dan? He can catch you up on what you missed the first month and maybe you won't kill each other,"

"We'll see, Johnny," Blair said with a shrug. She sauntered away from the door and across the room well aware that every eye was still glued to her. She sat down in the seat next to Humphrey and watched as Johnny went on with the names. Once attendance was done, a new topic was brought forth. With a vigilant eye, Blair noticed that only half the class participated and the one she'd expect more than anyone to be jumping from his seat just sat there quietly fidgeting in his seat. It didn't take long for Blair to realize what was Dan's problem. She turned towards him and waited.

"Um, Blair, shouldn't you be paying attention? Being new and all," Dan asked

"Probably but then again, you shouldn't be causing an earthquake," Blair said, Dan instantly shut up and a rosy hue took over. Blair wanted to laugh. Dan was such a dork. Just for kicks, Blair asked, "Need me to take care of that for you?"

Dan froze once she asked that. What was she-she wouldn't actually-oh, gosh, what was she trying to pull? He started sputtering something unintelligible when he tried to dissuade her and she couldn't help but giggle just a little.

"I'm kidding, Cabbage Patch," Blair said and Dan glared at her lightly, "However, if I were you, I would handle that before class ends, I'm sure someone will-"

"Alright, you two," Johnny began cutting her off mid-sentence, "Since you both must be so far ahead that you find it necessary to talk during my rant. What is the most important tool for a writer? Dan?"

Dan tried to think of a decent answer but the best he could up with was what he needed at that point in time.

"A cold shower," suggested Dan. The class laughed and Johnny cracked a smile before turning to Blair for her answer.

"While a cold shower may be good for some people at certain times," Blair gave Dan a mocking look, "I believe there is not a tool in this world that is more important than any other. Without the brain, no ideas could come forth nor could they processed and written down. Without pen, paper, laptop, leaf, paint, whatever they use to get out their thoughts, everything would be trapped in the folds of their mind. And without other people, there could be no outside inspiration, criticism, or improvement. A writer needs more than just one thing to write,"

"Bravo," Johnny said diving back into the lecture he was previously giving. That time, the two teens listened.

* * *

The class ended thirty minutes later and Blair left St. Jude's after making a final crack towards his deflated problem. From then on until lunch, the only thing talked about was Blair. Everyone had heard about Blair's return and they didn't even need any nosy gossip whore to tell them. It was pretty inspiring that they didn't need her, but it was also pretty annoying. By the time lunch came, Dan wanted nothing more than to escape the realm that was Blair's World. His girlfriend, on the other hand, had other plans.

"Dan, oh, please, pretty please, can't we just go somewhere with her?" pleaded Serena. Dan wasn't sure how he could say no. Serena was the type of girl that was hard to get and hard to get over, just ask Nathaniel Archibald. With a long heavy sigh, Dan surrendered his happiness for Serena's. In exchange, she smothered him with chaste kisses all the while waiting for Blair to appear.

Blair walked out of the front doors of Constance feeling better than she had in a long time. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about all the stupid little things from junior year. Everyone except her. There was no need to worry, though. Her return wasn't for revenge, mostly. She smiled as that familiar Manhattan breeze hit her arms. It was fall after all. Her good mood faltered ever so slightly as she came upon her ex-bestie - who she hoped she could reconnect with quickly - and Cabbage Patch waiting by the tables in front. Blair wasn't quite sure when or why but it seemed Dan had snaked under the fence into her world, and so far, he was showing up a little too much for her taste.

"Ew, you can stop now," Blair said once she caught up to them and they immediately followed her request. Serena rushed to hug her and Dan stood uncomfortably watching the two share in the girly tradition of sappy reunions.

_Why is it that a guy can go two years without seeing another guy and just give him a pat on the back when he returns, yet a girl can go two hours without another girl and need to have a sob fest when they see each other again? As far as Chris was concerned, girls were insane creatures whose purpose on the planet was to drive men out of their wits and keep the species going. Paige was pretty good at the former._

It wasn't more than ten minutes since Dan had left with the two most beautiful women at Constance to go get lunch and he was already contemplating the consequences of just stabbing Blair and pushing her off a cliff. He was beginning to miss the slightly awkward, very vain girl he had dealt with junior year. All he could see now was the completely self-centered bitch that seven months in France had turned her into. The worst part of it was, without a doubt, that only he could tell she was a bitch. She was carefully choosing her points to strike as if testing him. Every time she did something, Serena was distracted causing Serena to think that Blair was the sweet angel she hadn't been since the age of seven. What Dan didn't know was that Blair was going easy on him. She brought out the big guns when Serena went to place their order at this weird little café they had ventured off to.

"Well, well, how are we Humpty Dumpty? Any more  _hard_  problems today?" Blair asked

"Yes, tons, I mean, I've spent the last hour with Miss Mildred the Human Mole," replied Dan

"Wow, did not know you were into that kind of girl, Humphrey," Blair said

"I'm not," he said quickly

"Then what kind of girl are you looking for? And if you say Serena, I will shoot you,"

"Where are you going to get a gun?"

"I know a guy,"

"…Fine. Not that it is any of your business, but I like women who have both an emotional and mental stability. No one with insane mood swings and certainly no one like my sister-"

"Ah, you mean back-stabbing freshmen bitches, I totally understand,"

"She's a sophomore now and if you could refrain from calling her that-"

"What? A bitch, why? That's what she is,"

"You're one too, Blair,"

"One what? One of the most beautiful girls in school? Thanks for the compliment,"

"You're twisting my words,"

"I'd rather be twisting your arm behind your head but that would look weird,"

"And I'm sure Serena would notice,"

"What, do you think she'll be jealous?" Blair asked

"Of what?" Dan asked confusingly

"Of the amount of attention physically harming people takes. I haven't spoken to her in at least five months, I'm sure she's dying for one of those sit downs where we talk about everything going on in our lives,"

"Do you guys talk about me?" he asked curiously

"Uh, she does," Blair said rolling her eyes, "She just love to recount the romantic splurges you recently did. The dates, the laughs, the kisses, the… love,"

"So, you guys tell each other everything then? No secrets anymore," he said

"Hell no! A girl needs her secrets and since the last time we spoke was way long ago, we have plenty. I know France held many a great adventure for me,"

"Like what?"

"Like the time Roman wanted to do some lovely bonding and brought me to this swank club where they were having a modeling get together. The music was hot and the guests were even more,"

"So, you basically became like Serena?" Dan asked to clarify

"Like me how?" Serena asked taking her seat and sitting down the food

"Um, in the way that she enjoyed the modeling atmosphere," Dan said

"Modeling atmosphere? I hate the air around there, always reeks of hairspray and plastic," Serena said

"You know, Serena, remember that party for New Years when we got really trashed," Blair began

"Oh, yeah, that was so much fun," Serena said

"The guy I was talking to goes to our school. Saw him today," Blair said

"Ooh, what happened?"

"Nothing, he just asked if I had any drinks and if I wanted any," Blair said

"Of what? The drinks or his-"

"I think I'm gonna go," Blair said scooting away from the table while giving Dan a dirty look

"Gonna go find him?" Serena asked

"No, actually, I'm going to dig myself out of the ditch Chuck made," Blair said

"And how are you going to do that?" Serena asked

"By going to visit the devil himself of course," Blair said grabbing her purse and leaving with nothing more than a short wave as a farewell.

"This is going to end horribly," Serena said

"Hey, maybe if we're lucky, they'll just kill each other," Dan said causing Serena to gasp, "That was a joke,"

"Not funny," Serena said scolding the boy

* * *

"Ahh, I was wondering when you'd arrive?" Chuck asked spotting Blair in the halls of St. Jude's.

"Well, ditching Serena took longer than expected, she brought her little Cabbage Patch," Blair said

"Can we get rid of him as well?" Chuck asked

"Possibly but this is not about revenge, just social regeneration," Blair said

"Fine, your options are as follows, backstab a bitch or ride a guy to the top,"

"Ride?"

"Not meant that way,"

"That's surprising,"

"As much as I'd love to be insulted by you after so long, B, I have plans," Chuck said

"With a woman?" Blair asked

"Yes, but not out of pleasure, it's strictly a boring old meeting with the headmistress of Constance," he said

"Why would she want to see you?" she asked

"Little Jenny Humphrey has recently exposed how… assertive I was last year,"

"And that means…"

"Anger management courses, new equipment for a few classes, etc. you know the drill,"

"Sadly I do. But speaking of little Humphrey, is there anything we can do about her?"

"I thought you said it wasn't for revenge,"

"It's not. I just think Dan has some issues with my re-arrival,"

"How so?"

"He's… well, um, how can I put this? He's-"

"Attracted to you?"

"Yeah," she said nodding

"How is that a problem? Think he's going to make a move?"

"No, not at all. I guess, it's actually kind of… flattering,"

"Flattering?"

"It shows I haven't lost anything while being gone, Chuck. That's all I'm saying,"

"Is it really?"

"What are you implying now, Bass?"

"Just that Serena's not-so-new toy might just be wearing off on you,"

"Not a chance. I haven't even been around him and he's not worth my time. I have other things to focus on,"

"You say that now but pretty soon you'll be asking me to distract Serena, so, you can flirt with him,"

"I would never stoop that low,"

"You did give yourself to me in the back of a limo, how much lower could you possibly get?" Chuck asked. Blair was ready to retort with something quick but then she stopped. How much lower  _could_  she get? Once you have an affair with the biggest jackass in your zip code, where do you turn? Well, one thing was for certain it would never be Dan Humphrey.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sunday, September 28th, 2008._

_Chris was the type of guy with plenty of future aspirations, goals, and requirements. He was sure by the time he reached thirty-two, he'd be a successful author who graduated from Dartmouth, living the dream with his lovely wife and young child. Those days, though, he couldn't exactly decide who that lovely wife was supposed to be._

* * *

"Uhhh, I hate her!" screamed the short blonde as she paced from one side of her room to the other

"Why do you hate her, Jen?" Dan asked with genuine curiosity. It was only two days since the grand reappearance of miss Blair Waldorf from France and his sister was already annoyed at her. What could that little brunette have conjured up? And, more importantly, how long was the rant that followed going to last?

"That-that-that horrible, disgusting, vile-"

"Get to the point,"

"Ex-Queen decided that she was going to ruin lunch for us today," Jenny said sitting down on her bed

"That it?" Dan asked

"That it!" Jenny jumped up again resuming her previous pacing, "She purposely sent all the freshmen nerds over there with their food, and then she just had to make sure that people were cleaning during our lunch, and if that wasn't enough, she and her new beau decided to crash across the street from the steps,"

"Beau?"

"Yeah, she's now dating that new guy, um, what was his name? Nickolas, I think he's in your Lit class, isn't he?" Jenny asked. Dan nodded absentmindedly, since when was Blair dating Nickolas Fletcher? Nick Fletcher was as pathetic as he himself was back in the beginning of junior year - for Dan liked to think he had grown since then - and that kid was a senior. Nickolas Fletcher was by far the most idiotic and incompetent male at St. Jude's. Yet, Dan couldn't help but wonder what the doofus had that made him worthy of Blair? Was it his bank account that never went below the thousand? Or was it the private jet he was known to fly around in?

"Dan, are you even listening to me?" Jenny asked dramatically flailing her arms into the air. Dan looked up from his thoughts with annoyance. When did his sister become such a drama queen?

"No, I'm not, Jen, I'm actually thinking of what I plan on doing this evening. Would you care to join me?" Dan asked

"For what?" Jenny asked

"Dinner with the most wonderful people on earth," Dan said

"Oh, Gosh, Serena is having you over for dinner," Jenny exclaimed barely concealing the ear-to-ear grin.

"Yes, an entire night with my girlfriend, her brother, her mother, Bart Bass, and everything that is wrong with money," Dan said sighing and rising from his own bed to look for some decent clothes.

"In that case, you might want to go shopping before dinner because you have absolutely nothing to wear," Jenny said

"Fine then, I'll just go out and buy some polyester, plaid shirt and some sparkly white pants," Dan said

"It'd certainly distract from the giant zit growing on your face," Jenny said

"You lie," Dan said but despite his voice, he did stop to look in the mirror along the way. There was no zit!

* * *

_The way to the home of the Parker family was like the road to execution. He knew the end was so near yet he kept marching forward. He had a purpose, and that was to prove himself to the family once and for all. There was nothing that could distract him from his mission. Well, an unexpected visitor might be able to…._

* * *

The van der Bass house, as the conjoined home of the van der Woodsen's and Bass' was often called, was probably the most overly exaggerated home Dan had ever seen. It was like walking through history with a different year being each room. The home's new year décor was generations past and if it was one thing Upper East side families knew how to do it was decorate and accessorize.

"Announcing Daniel Humphrey," called one of the maids as he stepped into the dining room. The rest of the family was seated already and he could see an empty seat next to Serena. He quickly went to sit next to his girlfriend and spotted that across from her was Chuck sporting his usual smirk with just a hint of malice.

"Ahh, Dan, there you are," Serena said giving him a sideways hug

"Here I am," he said weakly

"Hello Dan," Lily van der Woodsen-Bass said nodding towards him, Eric gave him a small smile, and Bart kind of acknowledged his presence. His eyes were more focused upon the seat next to Chuck though. It was empty, of course, but there was a plate set in front of it with the openings of the meal waiting.

"Serena, please tell me that  _she_  isn't here," Dan said slowly

"Now, we wouldn't want to make a liar out of my bestie now would we?" Blair asked sliding into her chair across from him. Dan groaned ever so slightly and Blair's lips twitched upwards.

"Hello Waldorf," Dan said through gritted teeth

"Brooklyn, how are you?" Blair asked

"Fine, and you?"

"I'm marvelous. Then again it is to be expected when by someone as radiant as Lily, who may I say is glowing this evening," Blair said, Lily turned her head slightly

"Thank you, Blair," Lily said

"No, thank you, this is much better than spending the night at the penthouse," Blair said

"Eleanor isn't gone again, is she?" Bart asked. Dan's head snapped to the man whom he had never heard speak before. The only thing that man did was scowl and whisper to his wife. He must've liked Blair, Dan noted.

"Yes, she's stopped for a trip on the West coast, decided that the beach of California would be grand this time of year," Blair said

"But didn't you just return from your father's?" Bart asked, Blair nodded

"Yeah, but you know my mother, business first everything else second," Blair said

"Or fourteenth," Chuck mumbled lightly

"So, what has Magee prepared for dinner tonight?" Blair asked

"We thought we'd go coastal and have a fish dinner," Lily said

"Yum," Dan said to which Serena cheered lightly

"So, Daniel," Bart addressed him, "What are your intentions when it comes to Serena?"

"My intentions… um, I was thinking something along the lines of-"

"Sex?" Chuck interrupted

"Charles, shush," Bart scolded

"I was planning on doing the same thing I'm doing now," Dan said

"And what is that kiss my father's ass?" Chuck asked

"Charles," Bart warned, Chuck shrugged

"I was going for more of a-"

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf!" Serena yelled cutting off Dan for the third time that evening. She couldn't help it though, she spotted something on Blair's hand and if she didn't mention it right then, she'd forget. Blair quickly ducked her hand down but it wasn't quick enough.

"Yes?"

"You're wearing rings, and not just any rings, B," Serena said

"Okay, before you get a head of yourself, they aren't anything. Just a gift from Nick," Blair said

"Who's Nick?" Lily asked

"Blair's boyfriend," Dan answered before the rest. Everyone turned to him curiously, "I do have a sister, you know,"

"Yes, how is little Jenny?" Chuck asked giving Dan a mutinous look

"Chuck, no, leave it alone," Blair said

"Why? It was a question," Chuck said

"A question you knew would anger him, be nice," Blair said

"Someone's going soft," he spat

"Well, someone else is jealous," she replied

"Of what? Him? What does he have that I could possibly want? A mangy germ infested loft, a maxed out credit card, or is it the lovely sex with Serena I envy?" he asked

"Gosh, Chuck, if you're still hung up over November just tell me,"

"Fine then, Blair, I'm not over the fact that you ditched me for absolutely fucking nothing!"

"I didn't ditch you for nothing. I simply chose Nate,"

"Oh, that's a shocker,"

"If you're so angry about my choice, why the heck are you still talking to me then?"

"Because I'd rather speak to you now then go another six months with you in some foreign country,"

"If you wanted me to come back why didn't you tell me to?"

"Because that would have been giving in to what we both agreed would never happen,"

"What?"

"Me having feelings for you, Goddamnit!"

The table grew eerily silent as Chuck yelled those last words. There was nothing that could distract from the two brunettes who were looking at each other so darkly. Dan could only guess why Blair was glaring at Chuck. She probably would rather have had that conversation in a more private locale. Chuck was pretty obvious though. He was just pissed about how things turned out. It wasn't really surprising. That stupid rendezvous had cost him two of his friends for at least a month each. Just reliving the experience must have been enough for him as Chuck pushed back from the table shortly after that and stormed from the room. Blair stayed seated biting down on her bottom lip in the way he noticed she usually did when dealing with things.

"So, how great was this appetizer, eh?" Eric asked

"Um, very great, but I think I'd like my dinner now," Lily said, "Magee!"

* * *

After such a horrendous argument, you could say dinner held no more surprises. And while we're lying, you could also say that Nate Archibald actually did love Blair once, and Serena never once considered dating Nate. It was a few minutes into dessert when Blair cracked that unfazed demeanor she had put in place when Chuck left the table. She had ventured off after eating to freshen up and on the way back, she had bumped into Dan who was after some relief.

"Hey, um, Blair, are you okay?" Dan asked

"Why wouldn't I be? Just because Chuck Bass apparently has a crush on me and made a scene at dinner?" Blair asked

"Well, yes," he said

"Look, Dan, you wouldn't understand the relationship between myself and Chuck. We're two of the same and because of it there will always be issues. The latest of which is that I returned," she said

"Are you saying you regret coming back?" he asked

"No, I'm saying I regret ever speaking to him upon getting here. That's what has brought on such rash and unforgivable behavior. He ruined dinner and it wasn't even my dinner he ruined for once," she said

"Hey, it's okay, I didn't have to answer Bart's question anymore," he said

"Trust me Bart's question would be a walk in the park compared to what some other Upper East Side dad's start asking," she said

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, once Serena got a new boyfriend during yet another Lily van der Woodsen divorce stage and he needed to get clearance. They came to my house and had dinner with my father and me. Mother was out of town. My dad scared that boy so bad, he moved,"

"The kid left New York?"

"Yup, coincidentally, he's down the street from a vacation home of ours in Florida, you couldn't even imagine his surprise,"

"Well, maybe I should be glad I got Bart Bass as my concerned father type then," he said

"You should…. So, Humphrey, can I ask you just one question?"

"Sure, go ahead,"

"What do you think about me? Honestly, I can take it,"

"… Blair, I'm not going to answer that,"

"You really think I'm that horrible?"

"Actually, I don't know. You're a different person than the girl who annoyed me back in junior year,"

"Not really, just a bit tougher, I guess,"

"Why?"

"So that the whole Chuck/Blair situation doesn't happen ever again. The best friend and significant other angle is really getting old," she said

"I agree but you don't have to be a new person to not let it happen. You just have to think," he said

"Or avoid Chuck Bass at all costs," she said

"That could work," he said

"You obviously don't know Chuck that well. Avoiding him is harder than you'd think," she said

"You can start by hiding where he wouldn't think to look," he said

"And that would be…"

"Well, anywhere that isn't a bar, strip club, or owned by his father," he said

"Great idea," she said standing up once more, "Well, I guess it's time for me to bow out of here. It wasn't bad talking to you, Humphrey,"

"My thoughts exactly, Waldorf," Dan said, Blair kind of looked around for a moment before flashing him the smallest of smiles. She walked away after that but he stayed rooted to the floor. She smiled at him. She had actually tilted her lips upwards and acknowledged that he wasn't the biggest loser on the planet. He wasn't sure how it was possible but that actually made him feel like maybe the night wasn't as horrible as it had seemed.

* * *

Once Blair had walked away, Serena had finally been given the opportunity that she had been waiting for. She leapt from the table and gave some random excuse before darting off up the stairs towards her stepbrother's room. She flung open the door and found Chuck seated on a chair with a book in his hands.

"Alright, Chuck, what the hell was that?" Serena asked closing the door and walking up to him

"It was a door, they are commonly knocked on before people enter," Chuck said

"What was that fight with Blair? Did you mean what you said? You have feelings for her?" the blonde asked

"Well, I hardly ever lie, Serena. What do you think?"

Chuck turned back to his book. Serena went and sat down on the side of the chair he was seated in.

"Chuck, she liked you too," Serena said

"Right, of course she does," he said sarcastically

"No, really, she told me that when she saw you upon returning, she felt like she was home," Serena said happily

"And?"

"I think you should try to win her affections. Come on, Chuck, I'm going to help you get your girl," she said

"And how on Earth are you going to do that?" he asked

"By making sure you're everywhere she turns. You can't help falling for someone who's always there," she said

"Is that how you ended up falling for dear Nathaniel?" he asked

"That's how, yes, and I didn't fall for him. I crushed on him, there's a difference," she said

"Either way you gave him what he had always wanted," Chuck said

"And what was that?" she asked

"Your heart, most of which he still has mounted on his trophy case," he said

"I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, Nathaniel Archibald is the biggest dork alive,"

"That does seem to be your type,"

"I came here to help you, remember?"

"Reflex, sorry,"

"Was that sarcastic?"

"Of course,"

"Shower, sleep, and meet me for breakfast tomorrow before school. We've got some planning to do,"

With that said, Serena exited Chuck's room leaving the bad boy to think about what she had said. Did Blair really have feelings for him? And if she did, how would he get her to admit them when distractions kept popping up in the form of one very annoying and persistent outsider? He'd just have to find a way to distract the distraction. Leaping from his seat, Chuck rushed to catch Serena on the steps.

"Blondie, I think you and Dan deserve a date. How about my booth at  _Troy's_  on Tuesday?" Chuck asked

"Why so generous?" Serena asked

"Think of it as an early advance for Christmas," Chuck said

"Why don't we make this a group outing? I'll convince Blair to come and you, you just show up," Serena said

"It's a date,"


	4. Chapter 4

_Tuesday, September 30th, 2008._

_Forrest Gump once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get." It was an interesting motto that stuck for ages with all but one. Chris liked to think that similes should be saved for more important matters. He used them when referring to things that weren't nearly as broad of topics. In fact, he had a very interesting simile for women. Women were like pimples; annoyingly there with a very messy way of getting rid of them. If all women were like this, then Chris had recently been stuck with the Mt. Rushmore of pimples. Her name was Paige. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This chapter doesn't begin there. It begins elsewhere._

* * *

"Charles Malcolm Bass, if you don't get your  _ass_  in gear, we will both be late!"

The outburst resounded through the halls of the Palace hotel. However, Serena van der Woodsen paid it little mind. She was not in the best mood as anyone with ears could tell. It was the day of the double date that she and her stepbrother had planned. It was supposed to be a calm evening at  _Troy's Place_ , a swanky Upper East Side eatery, between her, him, and their respective love interests. For Serena and her boyfriend, Dan, it would be a laidback sort of date. For Chuck and Blair, it would be a disastrous set-up that would ultimately end with Blair being frustrated and Chuck being extremely pleased with himself. Nevertheless, nothing would ever happen if Serena kept waiting for Chuck to come out of his suite.

"Chuck, seriously, we were supposed to be there twenty minutes ago!" Serena exclaimed continuously pounding atop the door. Finally, it opened and Chuck gave her an impatient, nonchalant type look.

"Your point?" he asked

"My point is that this was supposed to be a night where you and Blair could work out your differences and she could realize that she still harbors something for you," Serena said

"Or, I could show up and the entire night would be awkward and annoying," Chuck said

"It won't be any different if Blair is a third wheel," Serena said

"Yes, it will. When she eventually gets sick of you two and your disgusting ways, she'll just resort to visiting me thus causing us to speak about our little issues before returning to the conversation we've been having for the past few days,"

"And that is?"

"The one about how she regains her power as an Upper East Side Socialite and Queen."

"Ahh… get dressed and come on! I'm not showing up late alone to look like some kind of idiot who forgets things,"

"Just tell them I was causing you trouble, or better yet, mention some crap about family bonding time. No one will listen to that anyway," Chuck said moving to close the door on her

"Chuck, this might be one of your only chances to speak to Blair in a non-one-on-one setting. I think you should take advantage of that," Serena said

"And I think," Chuck reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone, "You should let them know you're on your way. Wouldn't want Brooklyn and dear old Blair to run off together, now would we?"

Serena didn't respond to the last comment but she did take her phone back from him. Quickly sending a text message to Blair about waiting, Serena resigned. She sighed and turned away from Chuck knowing that now the ball was in court. However, with Chuck Bass, you never knew what he'd do with it.

* * *

If anyone were to walk by the table basking in the florescent lighting of  _Troy's Place_ , a popular restaurant among teenagers, they would surely think the two brunettes seated so awkwardly were on their first date. The amount of space between them, the way they had their eyes glued to the menus in front of them, the way he'd check his watch every few seconds as if it could never end; it all just screamed the new frontier. The two resembled a baby fern that just sprouted from the ground. Much like the plant, a relationship, needs love, tenderness, and no idiots trampling through. Tis a shame that in the lives of Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf, there were far too many idiots to count. One of which was running hideously late to her own idea.

"So, um," Dan awkwardly cleared his throat as he placed his menu down to look at Blair, "Do you like school?"

Blair tilted her head to the side ever so slightly causing her carefully curled hair to fall back behind her neck. She looked at him mockingly, and Dan was then fully aware of just how stupid of a question that was.

"I go to an all girl's school populated by bitches, wanna-bes, and everything in between. Obviously, Constance must have my full adoration," Blair said. Her voice, however beautiful it may be, was as sarcastic as the smile tugging at her lips. Dan couldn't help but wonder why a girl like her was left with nothing better to do than be a third wheel on one of the lousy, overrated restaurant dates that every group has to suffer through. Then of course, she opened her mouth again and he remembered exactly why she was alone. She fell into the first category.

"If Serena doesn't show soon, I'm leaving, just so you know," Blair said

"Figured as much," Dan said in response

"Why?"

"Well, we wouldn't want anyone to see you sitting here with me so soon after your return. They may think you returned for me,"

"Since when do guys from Brooklyn care what people think?" Blair asked

"Since when do girls from the Upper East Side ask questions? Don't you all just tell Gossip Girl first and find the truth later?" Dan asked

"Touché,"

"You expected less?"

Blair gave a small laugh in spite of herself and perched her chin on her left hand. Her lips pursed and her eyes went over his choice outfit quickly, sizing him up in regards to the evening. She almost smiled when he withered under her intense gaze but decided against getting his hopes up. If she accepted him, surely, he'd feel like he belonged in her world, which as far as she was concerned was still not true.

"Not bad, Humphrey, not bad at all," she said. Dan nearly choked on his fluids as she spoke. Did she just compliment him? Wow, that was pretty surprising. He didn't comment on it for the waiter came to give them their appetizers. They each accepted the food graciously as it would give leave way to silence and they could try not to reflect on how much they hated their mutual blonde friend for being so late.

"She was supposed to be here by now," Dan said voicing the thought that lingered in his mind

"She was also supposed to pick me up over an hour ago to get here. Be happy I still decided to come," Blair said, her vicious tone reminding him exactly whom he was left with.

"Yeah, I'll be thanking my lucky starts tonight," he mumbled. The silence the food promised was what came next for the two and it stayed even after he finished his soup and she finished her garden salad. The serenity was not disturbed until Blair's phone rang from within her purse. She recognized the ring and instantly plunged for it praying to God that Serena was saying she was there.

**B, almost there, don't kill Dan, order without me**

**Love, S**

Blair sighed and quickly texted her friend back asking what the hell she was supposed to while she waited.

**I don't know, B, ask about his hobbies. -S**

Another heavy sigh and Blair was looking at the sullen boy across from her. How did someone like Serena van der Woodsen end up even socializing with a guy like him? He was low class, ate with the wrong utensils, and had the most absurd fashion sense she had seen since, well, Chuck and his damn scarf. Sure, he may clean up pretty well when he changes some things about himself but that didn't grant him a worthy individual, did it?

"Your hair looks different," blurted Blair before she could catch herself. Dan looked up and nodded.

"You said that I couldn't wear 'this hair' anywhere respectively, so, I tried a different look," Dan said

"Well, it looks good," Blair said

"Thanks for the compliment, Blair,"

"So, in between dating my best friend and pondering over ancient conversations, what does Dan Humphrey do in his spare time?"

"Well, I write," he said

"Is it just because of our class or what?"

"It's actually because I love to write. I'm going to write a real book one day,"

"Okay. Now, they say that every great writer has something special they do while writing," she said gazing at him in that way that he had grown accustom to from UES females. It was playful yet brutally screaming for him not to screw anything up and make things weird, "What do you do?"

"I'm not that great," he said shrugging off the question as best as he could

"Dan,"

Her look had turned a bit less playful and he told her what she wanted to know.

"I write about things I know in the third person. I call myself a new name and I give real people new names as well," he admitted, she smiled and turned to her cell phone as a new text message came in. She started typing away with a slight frown on her face and he made a note not to make her upset if he could help it.

"When I show up, make sure you capture my amazing personality," she said not even bothering to see his reaction to her declaration/order. He'd probably look like a confused fish out of water anyway.

Dan looked at Blair for a bit longer before making another note to himself to change a few things in his latest piece of work. He had been working on something for quite some time now and he knew it needed more than just a few more descriptive words. It needed life. It needed more-

"Blair," called Serena as she finally noticed the two, "And Dan, oh, gosh, sorry, I just couldn't get away quicker. You know how my mom is,"

The flighty blonde pulled up her seat to the right of Blair and to the left of Dan - in the middle of them could also suffice for description. Serena began talking about her lengthy bonding time with her mother as, unbeknownst to her, her companions drifted elsewhere.

Blair was trying to ignore the completely uncomfortable feeling that overcame her when she saw that last text message. It was from Chuck. She wasn't exactly apt to jumping in his arms just because he'd confessed some feelings for her. Why couldn't he murder the stupid butterflies and treat her like every other conquest of his? Never speaking to him again would be such a lovely idea.

Among many lovely ideas was Dan's latest. There were so many stories out those days that were idiotic and completely unrealistic. What the world needed was a diary of sorts, a field journal of a specimen in a strange new world. Wasn't that the appeal of E.T.? Surely, everyone could accept a more factual one like it from that century maybe, couldn't they?

"I promise next time, I'll be here sooner," concluded Serena getting the attention of both Dan and Blair with just two words.

"Next time?" repeated Dan, Serena nodded smiling at the two of them

"There isn't going to be a next time, S. This is boring as hell and why would I want to be seen with you and your boyfriend? Please, tell me that," Blair said

"Hey, I'm not that bad," insisted Dan. Blair just shrugged and placed her order with the waiter. The quicker the night would be over the better for them all. The last thing they needed was more time together.

* * *

Four days. It was only four days until Dan and Blair were forced into another uncomfortable situation. It was Saturday, October 4th, and Dan was seated in his room writing yet again. Ever since he decided to basically write about himself, he'd been coming up with tons of things to write down. His main character, Chris, was the type of guy you just have to love with his slightly dorky personality and second-generation rockstar type looks. He was deep into his second chapter when he came upon a very interesting stumble. He was writing about the day Chris met McKenzie, his opposite and other half, when he found that he put in her description all wrong. McKenzie was supposed to look like Serena yet the way he described her sounded almost like-never mind.

Dan exhaled deeply as he tried to think of a better way to reword the introduction. There had to be a way where he didn't have to explain the character right away without just stalling like crazy. He was sure he had thought of something when his phone beeped.

**Hey Humphrey, party tonight? -V**

"Party?" Dan whispered to himself confusedly before another text came in.

**Some senior from your school dropped fliers all over my street its about a block from the loft, starts in 10, be there. -V**

Dan knew he wouldn't be getting any more work done on his story and decided to actually give the party a try. He was throwing some clothes on when the phone buzzed for the third time that evening. He knew it was the address. Gazing at his phone, he found it really was just a block away. He could leave right then and be early; it was so close. There was just one problem with leaving and that was getting past the guard.

Dan went out of his room and found that, just as he suspected, the only thing standing in his way of leaving was his mother. Could he even call her that anymore? She'd gone to work on her 'art' and ended up working on the neighbor instead. The divorce wasn't finalized yet and for it to happen, she had to stay with the family for at least a few months. Jenny was hoping they'd "finally realize what they didn't need to let go", but Dan knew better. No relationship can go through that much crap and still be standing. Hell, if you wanted a younger example, he could always go find Blair and Nate.

"Dan, where are you going?" inquired Alyson immediately after noticing him

"Out, Mom," Dan said grabbing his jacket and slipping into it

"Well, we were going to have some family time when the other two get back from the seminar at the gallery, doesn't that sound like fun?" Alyson proposed

"Actually, I have plans, maybe some other time," Dan said with his hand on the doorknob

"Are you going to be like this forever?" Alyson asked referring to his distant attitude

"I don't know, is the sky blue?" Dan asked giving his mother one last look before leaving the loft. With that prominent delay, Dan made it to the party a few minutes later than what his best friend would have liked. The party was in full swing, as, truthfully, it had started two hours prior to his arrival.

"Dan," yelled Vanessa over the music. He spotted her in the crowd and was going to walk over there when he noticed a familiar head of chestnut brown hair. The owner of the luscious locks was quickly diving deep into the party and if he hadn't known any better, he'd say she was rushing in to have fun. But he did no better. There was no chance Blair Waldorf was at a senior party in Brooklyn out of her own free will. Not even she could have that many personality changes. Sending an apologetic glance to his dear friend, Dan darted into the mass of people in search for the demon spawn that was Blair.

"For a small girl, you sure move fast," Dan said as he finally found her towards the back of the place. When he caught up to her, he put a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him with eyes double their normal size. She was scared. He was confused.

"Dan, I didn't know it was you," Blair said pulling away to sit down against the wall

"Who did you think I was?" he asked

"Nate, or Chuck, either one," she admitted sullenly

"Why would you run from them?' he asked

"No reason…. Dan, do you remember that time at the photo shoot when you told me about your mom?" she asked, he nodded, "And you did this to prove a point about telling people what I thought. I've been thinking something for a while now and I want to know the logical point of view,"

"Alright, have at it," he said lowering himself to be by the wall connected to hers.

"In this world, everything you do affects someone else directly and simultaneously. Knowing this, isn't it reasonable to say that every act counteracts to screw someone else over? If every act screws other people over, why the hell do we still stay here? And how the hell do we stop ourselves from feeling when we get screwed?"

"Those are actually questions, Blair,"

"Humphrey, just-"

"Yes. It is reasonable to say that everything you do messes with someone else. I've been involved in your world long enough to know that. Breathing at the wrong time can ruin your life and about five other people's as well. That shouldn't, however, stop a person from getting oxygen, or being themselves. The key to the other two questions is a tolerance, a safety blanket of sorts, to make sure you don't have to go crying to your mother every time someone hurts you,"

"What's your safety blanket? How do you stay so sane all the time?"

"I guess it's my family. I trust them not to kill me, and in return, they trust me,"

"Wow, that must be nice. I don't think I have that,"

"Well, now you do," Dan said straightening his shoulders in a sign to show courage and strength

"Wait, you're going to protect me? Yeah right, Cabbage Patch,"

Blair scoffed and Dan felt a bit hurt by her lack of faith. He may not have been playing lacrosse every night but he could do something.

"Hey, I was just offering my services. I will try to make sure no one kills you," Dan said

"And I will haunt your every waking moment when someone does," Blair said

"I promise from now on, no one will ever hurt you," he said trying to get her to just believe him

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," she said gazing out of the room as something familiar caught her eye

"I never do," he said. He finally thought she was accepting it when she went quiet and kept her eyes focused out the door.

"This blanket thing, does that mean you can't hate me?" she asked

"I guess so," he said, "But why?"

"Can you still get mad?"

"Yes, but-"

"Well, I'm going to need you to forgive me in advance,"

"For what?" he asked hoping her response wouldn't be as vague and distant as the rest. His hopes were answered. Her response was direct and, surprisingly, passionate. If you hadn't guessed, her response was a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

_Monday, October 6th, 2008._

_Shock. Shock was the only way to describe the state that Chris walked around in for two days straight. You'd be shocked too if someone you thought hated you proved that they didn't by laying a big, fat one on you in the back of some messed up Brooklyn home. How could Paige do that? She knew he was seeing someone, yet she had to go and confuse him. To make matters worse, she disappeared shortly after her 'act' and he hadn't heard from her since. But he was through with being shocked and confused. It was time for answers._

* * *

Daniel Humphrey strutted through the doors of Constance Billard with an intense sense of determination. There was nothing in the world that could distract him from what he needed to do. Girls turned their heads as he stormed passed them not even bothering to spare a glance towards his sister and her 'friends' as he marched up to Blair's locker. He slammed closed the door and she turned around ready to scream until she saw him. Then she - and the entire hall - went quiet.

"Blair, I think we need to talk," Dan said leaving no room for questions

"Yeah, about that, I swear to you that Serena is just busy with her mom. You know, Lily, always something to parent on," Blair said

"This is not about why Serena is late. This is about… the homework you stole from my backpack," Dan said

"What homework?" Blair asked genuinely confused

"You know, the  _questions_  you took on  _Saturday_ ,"

Blair's eyes widened when she realized what he was referring to. Suddenly, she was even more hesitant than before to talk with him. Her hesitance was no match for his seriousness though. When Dan set his mind to something, it wasn't easy to change it back. She sighed and grabbed her purse following the boy away from the others knowing good and well that all eyes were on them.

The two kept walking until they reached a semi-private section of St. Jude's. The emptiest spot in all of the two schools was the third floor boy's bathroom. It was always bare of human life as it was immensely hard to find and there was an out of order sign on the front door. Ergo, it was the perfect place for the two of them to talk without interruptions.

"Alright, speak, Humphrey," Blair said

"Why did you kiss me?" Dan deadpanned skipping the little pleasantries that usually began their conversations

"Wow, straight to the point, I see. Well, don't flatter yourself, Cabbage Patch, I was doing myself a favor," Blair said

"And kissing me did this how?" Dan asked

"Look, if you're going to keep interrupting me than I won't even bother to explain!" Blair snapped

"Sorry, do go on," Dan said

"Now, I don't want to. You're very pushy on Monday mornings. I don't like pushy. And I certainly don't respond to it," Blair said

"And that means…"

"It means we're done here, Cinderella! I'm going to go down the steps and go through my class day as if you don't exist and you should do the same, even though it'd be hard to ignore me," Blair said starting for the door

"Blair,"

Dan grabbed her hand and turned her around quickly and forcefully. A bit too forcefully for they both fell to the ground in a bundle of limbs. In the crash, they were so caught up they didn't notice the door open and a person look inside only to immediately break out their cell phone. Too busy groaning they were that the position they were in seemed to float right over their heads. Until of course they heard the door close again. Then paranoia set in for one of them.

"Oh my gosh, what if someone was just here? Do you know what they'd think, Humphrey?" Blair shrieked sitting up stiffly

"That they might want to get me a book of sign language. Ouch, I think you made me deaf," Dan said rubbing his sore ears

"I could careless about your hearing, Dan! If someone was here-"

"I'm sure, you're just imagining things. No one comes up here,"

"You do,"

"Once again, no one comes up here,"

"…. But what if someone did?"

Blair was obviously not letting it go.

"Then I'll take full responsibility and claim I came onto you. I'm sure someone will believe me," Dan said

"And why on Earth would they do that?" Blair asked

"Because, well, um… you're, kind of, well…"

Dan's cheeks flushed, and once Blair caught on to what he was saying - for the second time that day - hers did the same.

"Let's go back downstairs," Blair said rising and this time she was able to get out the door. Dan followed behind her momentarily forgetting why it was so important for them to speak.

* * *

It was midway through first hour when it happened. For the past seven months, Gossip Girl had retired claiming that she was going on a gossip strike until the  _true_ queen of the Upper East Side returned. Kati and Is had sported black for at least the first month before, sadly, just moving on to having 'Save the Gossip' buttons on their bags. Everyone knew once Blair returned that it was only a matter of time until the nosy hag came back. That Monday was the day.

It was evident that no one in class had remembered to turn their cell phones off as nearly every phone in the classroom went off simultaneously. Johnny looked astounded from his desk and the rest of the class quickly went for their phones knowing what that must mean. Only two people in class didn't get the text. Those two people were the teacher and Dan. Blair got it though and her face dropped considerably once she did. She silently passed her cell phone to Dan whose eyes widened as he read:

**Well, well, Upper East Siders, you'll never guess what I just heard! My lovely source, mark37, has just told me the greatest news of all. You guys know of the return of ex-Queen B but it looks like we now know why she came back. Gosh, didn't she know that eavesdropping is the new black? They say nothing hurts more than the best friend and the boyfriend, but we're not so sure that's what B had in mind. You'll clear this up for us, won't you, hon? If not for me, at least for S, something tells me she won't be too happy.**

**XOXO, GossipGirl**


	6. Chapter 6

Depending on where you live on our great planet, it can feel as if you live in a different world. The world for someone in California is different than a person in Florida, and both of which are very different for another person in New York. Even two sides of basically the same zip code have different worlds. In Brooklyn, things were settled in arguments, fights, and the like. On the Upper East Side, everything was settled and discovered using the website of an online blogger named Gossip Girl. GossipGirl seemed to know everything about everyone before most people truly did, or were ready to tell. In a world controlled by an anonymous insider, it was very hard to have any privacy. It seemed the only way to have such was to separate yourself for a day. Serena van der Woodsen and her younger brother, Eric, were doing just that.

"Alright, so, we'll go to breakfast here, then head there to shop, then eat lunch, then go to the zoo in Brooklyn, then come back up here for dinner at Butter," Serena explained pointing all over the tourist style map she had picked up at the Palace. Eric van der Woodsen watched with interest as she pointed to all the places they would go. It was the beginning of the school year and it didn't seem to bug her at all that she was skipping a day to play hooky with him. It'd be a day to remember without a doubt.

"Serena, how about we head by the ice cream parlor before dinner? There isn't a good one in the zoo," Eric said

"True, but it would ruin your appetite," Serena said

"Now, you sound like Mom," Eric said knowing it would change Serena's mind instantly. The last thing the blonde wanted was to become her mother. Lily Bass - so hard to say that those days - was not exactly 'Mother of the Year' and with good reason. She neglected her children at times, always was off spaing or spending, and married more men than she had toes. Little Eric could clearly see the change in Serena once he said that.

"Alright, we can get ice cream. But, really, did I truly sound like Mom?" Serena asked

"Yeah on her good days," Eric said

"Well, let's get going," Serena said stepping into the street to hail a cab. While she did so, Eric waited pulling out his phone as a text message rolled in. He looked at the screen mentally cursing the bad timing of the blogger's return. Why did she have to pick that day of all days? Eric wondered for a moment if he could pretend he hadn't heard just so he could have his day with his sister. What was the worst that could happen? Well, Gossip Girl could be telling the truth and Serena would be dumped for her best friend causing her to be emotionally scarred for life. She'd probably return to her old ways resulting in her leaving again and…. He was going to tell her.

"Um, Serena, do you have your phone?" Eric asked going to her. She had just found a cab too.

"No, why? And what's with the face? Last time you had that face Gossip Girl sent a-oh…. She's back?"

Serena sighed. All good things must come to an end, it seemed.

"Uh, yeah,"

"So, who's her unlucky target? Blair, right?"

"Yes, Blair, you… and Dan," Eric said

"Dan? What could she possibly say about Dan?" Serena asked

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all," Eric said, Serena obviously didn't believe him. He went on, "Just that he, um, cheated… on you,"

"With who?" Serena asked. Eric gave her a look and she felt like laughing. Wait, GG comes back with weak stuff like that? The blonde expected more. There was no way anything would happen with Dan and Blair. Never. She thought Eric was playing a joke, but as she took his phone she found that it wasn't. Gossip Girl seriously believed that Dan and Blair were…. She could not believe her eyes.

-

**Well, well, Upper East Siders, you'll never guess what I just heard! My lovely source, mark37, has just told me the greatest news of all. You guys know of the return of ex-Queen B but it looks like we now know why she came back. Gosh, doesn't she know that eavesdropping is the new black? They say nothing hurts more than the best friend and the boyfriend, but we're not so sure that's what B had in mind. You'll clear this up for us, won't you, hon? If not for me, at least for S, something tells me she won't be too happy.**

**XOXO, GossipGirl**

-

Won't be too happy? Saying she was pissed would be an understatement! Serena was beyond angry. She could not believe the nerve of that lie-spreading witch. Serena slapped the phone shut and shoved it into her brother's hands. She stormed into the cab slamming the door behind her.

Eric quickly stopped the cabbie from driving away and waited for Serena to roll down her window.

"Serena, you may want to think this through. You can't just go running off. And what about our day together?" Eric asked, Serena's eyes flashed for a moment.

"Eric, I love you, I really do, but I have to do this," Serena said, Eric sighed. She always had to do something without him those days.

"What are you going to do?" Eric asked

"I'm going to neuter my boyfriend," Serena said rolling up the window and urging the cabbie to drive away. Eric watched her go feeling bad about telling her the truth. Not because of their day together though. He just knew that when Serena was done with Dan. There'd be nothing left for the two best friends to fight over. And, really, what was a catfight without a prize for the winner?

* * *

The room was eerily silent. The silent click the phone made when closed was louder than anything Blair Waldorf had ever heard in her life. She couldn't believe it. What was the world coming to? What kind of place did she live in where you couldn't even keep one little kiss private? And, really, why did it have to come then of all classes? She turned her focus to Dan who had just finished reading the text message. His eyes showed the same amount of fear as hers did. They hadn't really done anything  _wrong_ , per say. But convincing Serena of that… they were  _so_ dead.

Blair dropped her head to her desk groaning as she did so. Dan gave her a look meaning 'You-can't-get-out-of-this-that-easy' but she didn't really notice. He closed his eyes tightly hoping everything would just go away when he did so. Maybe if he closed his eyes, when he opened them, it'd be summer again and he'd be relaxing with Serena in the Hamptons instead of being targeted with Blair in his Lit class. He opened his eyes and found that it didn't go away. Something did come though. It was Johnny who was clearly curious as to what had such an effect on his class. He grabbed Blair's cell phone maneuvering through it quick enough to find the text. He scanned it and nearly lost his footing.

"Dan, Blair, what is the meaning on this?" Johnny asked, Dan looked up at him blankly and Blair groaned unmoving.

"It's nothing," Dan said mutely

"Nothing? Since when did my prized pupil and my… Blair hook up?" Johnny asked, Blair's head shot up at his words. Ewww!

"Okay, there are so many things wrong with that sentence that I can't even begin," Blair said, she could just see the cell phones coming back out. "First of all, why is he your prized pupil? He doesn't  _do_  anything! The last few days all he's done has been sitting there and staring into space. Doesn't do a thing," Blair said

"I resent that," Dan said

"No one cares! Secondly, your Blair? Come on, Johnny. Just because you and my mom are friends doesn't give you like claim to me, or something? And it certainly doesn't mean you know what's going in my life. You not knowing about my return was proof enough of that. And, finally, I did not, nor will I ever, hook up with Daniel Humphrey. Serena may be slumming it up in Brooklyn with him and his no-taste posse but I sure as hell am not! I'd sooner marry Chuck Bass than I'd do anything with Cabbage Patch!"

Silence. Silence.

Maybe she had been a bit too harsh. Maybe she shouldn't have blown up. Or, maybe, she just needed a good break from the UES again. She'd been there, what, a week and already her full-on bitch exterior was back and in full swing. She just told off her favorite teacher, insulted someone she was sort of growing to tolerate, and caused yet another scene for the ranting of that nosy scandal hag. No wonder Gossip Girl loved her. She was always full of surprises.

Dan looked on truly hurt by what Blair had said. He thought they were building a bridge. What was everything on Tuesday and Saturday? They had been talking, friendly even. Now, suddenly, she was back to tearing him down and treating him wrong. What was he thinking saying he'd help her? She was a horrible person. A truly, disgusting human being. But if she was all that, why did it seem like she regretted it?

"Well, Miss Waldorf," Blair winced hearing the term, "I think you might find a trip to see the Headmistress beneficial. I'm sure she'll be dying to hear what you just told me,"

"Johnny, I-"

"It is Mr. Price to you and no, before you start. Leave. I'm done with you disrupting my class,"

It was obvious she had cracked something in Johnny. He had never once told a person to call him by his last name. He was always so nice. Chuck and Nate almost started a fight in his class and all he did was tell them to cool it. Blair had definitely hit something. The others just hoped it wasn't too deep of a gash. They certainly did not need another angry teacher.

Before Blair could try to speak again, the door opened. Nate Archibald, looking golden as usual, walked into the room with his head held high. He was no longer faking sick. Oh no, now, he was after finding the truth. The scene he was greeted to was pretty odd though. Johnny looking tense and rigid, Blair looking hurt and conflicted, and everyone else looking shocked. The odds were certainly leaning in Gossip Girl's favor there and that didn't look too good for him.

"Um, Dan?" All eyes went to the front of the room where Nate stood, "Mind telling me what's going on?"

"Yeah, Dan," Serena said stepping into the room and pushing past the semi-bewildered Nate, "What is going on?"

Dan looked around the room to find everyone now staring at him. There were plenty of things he could have been thinking but the one they least expected was-

"Shit," Dan whispered. Blair leaned over in her seat.

"The best tactic is to hit the ground running," Blair advised

"What does that mean?" Dan asked quietly

"It means don't lie to her. Then, I'll have to tell the truth later," Blair said

"Fine,"

Dan sat up straight. He was about to speak when Serena started up again.

"Dan, Blair, I think it'd be best if we left the room now." Serena said.

The two rose from their seats without question and followed the blonde out of the room. Nate came as well. They went a bit deeper into the school before Serena looked at them waiting for one to speak.

"Now, Serena," Dan began

"You're cheating on me with my best friend!" Serena roared

"Serena, I would never do that," Dan said quickly

"You've been around us long enough. I wouldn't be surprised. I cannot believe you would do this to me," Serena said

"This was just a  _huge_  misunderstanding, S," Blair began "You see, we were at a party-"

"Wait, we as in you and Dan?" Nate asked

"That is usually what we means, Nate. Two people, one of which being whoever is speaking," Blair said a bit condescendingly. Nate huffed at her and turned his gaze to Dan.

"Dan, what happened?" Nate asked

"Did you cheat on me?" Serena asked

"Well…"

"Yes!" Blair said a bit louder than she expected. It was supposed to be just for her to hear but apparently, the others did as well. "Yes, Serena, he cheated on you, but not as badly as GG made it out to be. We only kissed,"

"So it was you! You helped my boyfriend cheat on me," Serena said stepping closer to her friend out of anger.

"Actually, she initiated the entire thing," Dan said

"Oh, did you now?" Serena asked sounding pretty damn hysterical

"Way to help, Humphrey!" Blair said sarcastically

"I'm serious, you have one more time," Dan said warningly, Blair rolled her eyes turning to Serena

"It was to avoid Chuck, if you must know. I really didn't like the idea of dealing with him. The other day, after dinner, I went to go and tell him we needed to put the past behind us and that jerk seemed to think I had come 'crawling back to him'. He's an ass, Serena," Blair urged

"An ass you seemed to enjoy being with not so long ago," Nate mumbled loud enough for the others to hear

"Guys, you should know by now that a few months can be a lifetime. I've changed since then," Blair said

"I don't think you have," Serena said, "I think you wish you changed. You came back and look at what you've managed to do in a week. B, you're the same girl you were back in junior year, just a little older,"

"Am not!" Blair screeched

"Then how do you explain what happened back in the room? Johnny looked pretty pissed for you to have been a good little girl," Nate said

"Who was talking to you?" Blair snapped, Nate held up his hands defensively

"Don't yell at Nate, Blair. I was thinking the same thing," Serena said

"Well, maybe you two can go have a chat about it and then he can drool over you like he always does! If you have a problem with me being back then tell me and I will gladly go back to France. I'm oh so sorry that I borrowed your boyfriend for, what, like an hour at a party. I gave him back, and you can keep him. He's not a good kisser anyway!" Blair said heatedly

"Ouch," Dan mumbled

"Save your feelings of pain, Cabbage Patch!" Blair yelled

"Okay, what the hell is with you today? You're snapping at everyone. It's like you're a ticking time bomb that goes off every three seconds!" Dan exploded frustrated

"It must be a new experience for you seeing as with dear Serena there are never any emotions except for lust and happiness," Blair hissed with an eerily pleasant smile

"See, there it is again! You were fine before class," Dan said

"Well, before class was different," Blair said

"How so?" Dan asked

"Before class they didn't know anything," Blair said

"They? Who's they, Blair?" Serena asked

"Nate, Chuck, you,  _everyone_! Gosh, I came back, and instantly, Chuck is everywhere I turn, Nate's popping up this way and that, and you are like attached to my hip! I get it. I was gone. You missed me. Now, let me breathe! I needed a break, a place to hide. I went out to Brooklyn for some party. Chuck was there. I tried to hide. Your boyfriend just found me. Chuck came close and to get him to back off I kissed Dan. No one could tell it was your boyfriend. Most of them thought it was Nick. Evidently, one person didn't and realized, whatever. Hate me if you want, but a cheater I'm not. And neither is Dan. It was a little misunderstanding, but I really don't regret it. Because for one moment, I didn't have any of you guys breathing down my back. It was heaven. Even if I had to kiss your dirty little friend to be there," Blair raved looking down when she finished her explanation.

The other three were silent having nothing to say in response. In fact, Blair didn't have anything to say either. It wasn't until footsteps were heard in the hall that the group snapped out of their reverie. For a fleeting moment, Blair hoped it'd be someone she could tolerate easily. The faint smell of a familiar cologne told her otherwise.

"Something tells me I missed a chapter," Chuck said looking at the four from the end of the hall

"Go away, Chuck," Blair said not even bothering to hide her disdain for the scarf-clad jerk

"Aww, is that all you have for me after last night?" Chuck asked a knowing look on his features. Blair's face paled a little.

"Chuck, go  _away_ ," Blair repeated sounding just a tad bit shakier

"Now, why would I do that?" Chuck asked waltzing over to her and throwing an arm over her shoulder

"Maybe because she told you so," Dan proposed

"If Chuck did everything people told him to, he would have been dead the day after he met Blair," Serena said

"Ah, yes, she told me to jump off a cliff," Chuck recalled

"And I wish I could do the same thing now," Blair said shrugging off his arm

"Really? I didn't think you could change your mind so fast. The other day all you wanted was for me to go fa-"

"Chuck!" Blair said loudly blocking his next word. She looked around seeing uncomfortable, fuming, confused, and smug faces littering the group. She sighed, and began walking away. Leave it to Chuck to ruin everything.

"Blair," Dan called

"And leave it to Brooklyn to follow me," Blair mumbled turning around, "What?"

Dan gazed back at the three watching them curiously, and flashed Blair a small smile.

"So, uh, you and Chuck again?" he prompted, she frowned

"I'd say no, but you probably wouldn't believe me, would you?"

"Not really," Dan admitted

"I figured as much," Blair said dejectedly, "Look, I'm now going to walk away. So, turn around, act like your usual self, and pretend that this whole friendship, blanket thing didn't happen,"

"Why?"

"We hung out once, and look what happened. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of being talked about," she said, "Later, Humphrey,"

Without waiting for another word, she turned around and walked away. As she left, she found herself saying the same thing that was crossing Dan's mind right then.

"Damn that Gossip Girl."


End file.
